After wrangling my own kids and a couple of energized toddlers in the studio, these beautiful siblings were like shooting fish in a barrel. My brother and sister and I had our photos taken when we were a few years older than this way back in the day and we looked like we were on…
Monthly Archives: June 2012
Oh June, another month speeding by. I’m finding the more fun you have in life, the faster it speeds by. It’s officially summer and we have been staying home as much as possible. I’m in the minority amongst most moms as I’m not shuttling my kids to soccer camps and the like. We have partaken…
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I feel for you Betsy! This 4th of July will be three years since my aunt committed suicide. It’s nothing like losing a husband, but it does suck having a sad memory associated with what should be a happy holiday. Will be praying for you! Cyberhugs!
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I can totally relate to the baby thing… I’m 42 years old and I keep feeling that nag, is this it? Could I even deal with another one? Ugh.
Also, I’m not sending my daughter to camps either! She starts kindergarten in the fall and we will be rushing around soon enough! I want to enjoy this time and build memories together 🙂
Sorry about your first husband… Sending hugs!
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I wish everyone were as honest as you. My parents would have been much wealthier had they stuck with just two of us, but I feel like my youngest brother makes our family complete. I can’t imagine life without him!! If you do make that decision to add another, know it will never ruin what you have, but will make it more whole if it’s truly what you want.
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I really wish you would write.. Be an author..You amaze me.. love you…
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My thoughts are with you on your big decision. I once had two and knew in my heart I wasn’t done. I yearned like crazy for a third. We had our third baby girl…and I’m now at peace. It is different for everyone. Good luck:)
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“(Please excuse the subtle reference to an explicative.)” Oh Betsy, I think you’re precious. 🙂 And yes, keep writing. Write and write and write your guts out…I wish I would take the time to, instead of the 140 character version I’ve been doing the past few years.
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We have our three. We couldn’t afford the first, second or third, but we do it. I cried the day I found out I was pregnant with quinn (our third) thinking how in the world will we manage money and three kids?!?! But seriously, q completed our family. Like Sara said, it’s different for everyone. And I always think of your family on the fourth. I know it brings heartbreaking memories to you, but I looked at as Andy’s independence day. The day he was free. Will be praying for you!!!
and I totally second your mom’s comment. I LOVE reading what you write!
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I am so sorry about the 4th… It is awful that this had to happen at all and there really is an extra “insult to injury” that comes with having an anniversary like that on a day that everyone else is celebrating. The first time I miscarried was back in my first marriage… on Mothers day. It has been years, and I have a million reasons I am -glad- that pregnancy ultimately didn’t continue, but it still hurts and I have to really be on my best behavior (and sometimes a Xanax or two) to not punch well meaning people who just assume that someone my age has children and wish me a Happy Mother’s day. (Dear family that read this blog, no, I really don’t want to talk about this very much. I am only not sending this as a private message b/c I think that part of the story might help other people who read here. Sorry.)
One thing that was recommended to me that has helped through the years is to very purposefully take time that morning (and to be honest, I do it pretty much every morning starting when Mother’s Day sale commercials come on) to meditate on the twins and the whole situation. In the first couple of years I would write them a letter which I would light with the candle I also lit for them and watch the smoke go up and, in my mind at least, deliver the message to them to let them know they were not forgotten.
I wonder if it might be helpful to write Andy a letter, update him on your life, John, the kids…. let him know that you still love him and miss him, but that you are okay. Attach that to a firework or a bottle rocket or maybe light it and use it to light the fuse and spend a moment celebrating the joy that you two had in life while you send your message in to the sky. It might help if you can use this holiday and the paraphernalia that come with it to re-shape your grieving process a little, It might take out just a little bit of the sting. {{Hugs}}
That is awesome about photographing the birth, I am excited for you! I look forward to hearing how that goes. I can imagine how that is adding fuel to the baby fever fire. I don’t have much good advice there other than I suspect if you are supposed to have one more it will happen weather you expect it to or not. May peace find you either way.
So, have Miles ask Jeff some more probing questions about the Chemistry… His Undergrad Degree was in Environmental Engineering, which as I understand uses A TON of chemistry. So while “Chemist” may not have been in the degree title or job description, he does know his stuff pretty well! The Nuclear Engineering PhD also uses a good deal of Chemistry. Maybe next time we visit (and it will be -we- next time one way or the other!) Jeff can set up a cloud chamber and show Miles how to use Chemistry to see Radiation! (Not dangerous at all! The dry ice required is more dangerous than the radiation source used.)
I hope you guys have an awesome weekend, I look forward to hearing all about it 😀
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I hear you on the baby fever thing… when Grace was one, we made the decision that we’re done… it was all practical thinking… and at that point I was content with our decision (might have had something to do with the girls being 3 & 1 and I was freaking exhausted). So hubby got snipped. Since then I’ve gone through baby fever stages many times and I just know we would have another one by now if we could. It’s a brain against heart matter. We went with the brain. Do I regret it? Somedays yes, but if I think about it logically… I know it was right for us. I already have ideas about fostering once my girls are out of the house… that way I can still love on little ones.
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I loved this open, honest post. it’s good for a mom’s soul to know we are in this together, even if our lives are different we are still struggling with the same kinds of things. Your life will be changed forever when you watch a baby enter the world! Oh how I have loved photographing births and being able to see that first breath. I know you will do a fabulous job!
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Betsy, how I love you so.
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Betsy, I love your blog! We have five kids (yes, we are crazy) and we are finally done. I knew I wanted another after the first two, but it took us a while to have her. Then we wanted just one more and got twins. My Mum said it best, “Honey, there is never enough money, but you figure it out.” My husband just got snipped last week and we both felt a pang of “oh no more!” but we are at peace with our decision. I think sometimes the best way to look at it is to realise that you are never going to regret having more kids, but you may regret not having them. I too am a ball of crazy. I am not the most perfect mother, but I don’t need to be. I just need to be the mother that I am and that is what my kids need more than anything. That is all you can be too. I say get busy with your man and see what happens! Good luck and remember you are awesome!
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Betsy, I love your blog! We have five kids (yes, we are crazy) and we are finally done. I knew I wanted another after the first two, but it took us a while to have her. Then we wanted just one more and got twins. My Mum said it best, “Honey, there is never enough money, but you figure it out.” My husband just got snipped last week and we both felt a pang of “oh no more!” but we are at peace with our decision. I think sometimes the best way to look at it is to realise that you are never going to regret having more kids, but you may regret not having them. I too am a ball of crazy. I am not the most perfect mother, but I don’t need to be. I just need to be the mother that I am and that is what my kids need more than anything. That is all you can be too. Good luck!
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I know you’re not looking for advice, but I just wanted to comment on 2 verses 3 kids. We were very done at 2 and…surprise! #3 very much pushed us over the edge from controlled chaos to just plain chaos. But of course I wouldn’t change a thing as I can’t imagine life without my little stinker. If you and John are both feeling a bit sad about being done, then I think you probably aren’t. As for the fear of always wanting a baby around and never feeling done, I have a feeling that 3 kids might cure you of that :). It is pure craziness at my house but our family does feel full and complete. When things seem a bit overwhelming now I try to think of the future and how much my kids will appreciate having one another as adults (at least I hope they do!). Lastly, I can totally relate to not being a zen mom. We all have our strengths and weaknesses so don’t let what others think sway you. Lastly again, we are a family of 5 living in a 3 bedroom 1400 sq ft home. It’s cozy, but doable. 😉
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I love that you shared your heart, Betsy. We all need to hear more of the real stories that tend to not make the ‘perfect’ world of the internet. We all have them… Lifting one another up in our joys, frustrations, and, especially our sorrows, is what we are called to do. I think we have forgotten that over the years. Life on earth isn’t perfect, and never will be, but learning how to accept the challenges we face, and make the most of them, will enable our hearts to be prepared for the future. You are an inspiration to many (including me), so keep sharing. 😉 I hope you had a wonderful 4th with your friends and family celebrating many freedoms. Hugs to you!!
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Betsy, I haven’t had a chance to look at your blog lately but I’m glad I read this post! We just had our third and I can definitely say that I knew after our first that I wanted a second and I knew after our second that I wanted a third. I was worried that I would keep wanting kids indefinitely, and though I don’t know if we are done completely, I do feel more complete now. Our little girl was born almost 3 months early and spent 6 weeks in the NICU. This is the hardest thing we’ve ever gone through but I wouldn’t go back and change a thing! We live in a small house that we downsized to when our first was born so I could stay home with the kids. It really doesn’t bother us at all to feel a little cramped for now 🙂 Oh, and I’m 37 so if it’s meant to be, it will happen. Don’t let yourself feel old. That is just the society we live in these days. I too worried about being a stress ball but I do feel that each child has helped me become a better Mom. Sorry for such a long comment, but thanks for letting me share 🙂
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i am trying to figure out if we should have a third right now and it’s weighing on my husband and i SO much. we had our second and knowing all along that we only wanted two, my husband had a vasectomy when she was four months old. BUT… the procedure didn’t work. he went in for testing to make sure i wouldn’t get pregnant and failed it, over and over. now that my daughter is a little older (almost three) i have been wondering if maybe there is a reason it didn’t work. both of us grew up in 2-kid families and it was great, so thinking of three is very much outside our comfort zone… i don’t know if either of us ever even really considered it. my husband worries about the practical things – money, vehicles, house, lack of sleep – and i worry about having enough time for all of them since i work. but i’m only 30, right now i could have an empty nest when i’m only 45 which seem so YOUNG. i also feel like i’d be so much more relaxed with another one and it would be fun to experience it once differently – when it wasn’t my first (because i didn’t know anything!) and when it wasn’t when i had a two-year-old at the same time (because that’s obviously a struggle). i know it would be crazy at times. but i just keep coming back to the fact that in the end, it simply means more love. good luck with your decision – we’ve been talking it over for months now and i feel like we still don’t know what is meant for us.
Are you ready for some precious little sisters in some adorable matching Matilda Jane dresses? Check out these beautiful girls. Narrowing down the edits on these were incredibly hard, they were such easy little beauties to photograph! aaaaaaaaaaand my favorite. Cutest sister photo ever!!!!!
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How did I miss this post?! So much cuteness in one post. That last shot is absolutely perfect!
No, I don’t give my kids candy. They have to steal it out of my purse. She always shares though. Such a sweetheart. PS No, we didn’t get another pug. We often dog sit for cousin Lelu. She’s here again this weekend too.
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I’ve had an invasion of cuties in the studio lately. Here’s a little sneek peek of them. More to come, I just can’t keep these families hanging while I edit!
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