This post has photos from both my iphone and John’s iphone. John has been in NY this week and has emailed me photos from his trip and mine were taken during my stint as a single mom. (Single moms are AMAZING women!)

---

Remember when you were a kid and you would have this best friend that you just loved everything about? You guys would spend the night together over some school break and the next day you would say, “Mom, can she stay another night?” Then the next day, you would still be having so much fun that you just had to have her stay ANOTHER night?

Then things would get a little hairy on the third day. She started to seem less awesome. You wanted your own space and why was she acting like a jerk all of a sudden? Then you both agreed that her mom couldn’t come fast enough to pick her up.

Oh, fifth grade, I kind of feel like I have revisited you this past week, but with my own son.

John has been in New York for a week leaving me home with Miles in single mom mode.

When I heard it was for a whole week, I was pretty daunted, but I was excited about Miles and I having some freedom and extra time together. We did have fun and it was good for me. We had movie nights, played in the snow, did some shopping and lunch with my mom, painted, played hide & Seek, and lots of story times. I did have a bit more freedom as I didn’t have to be on top of Miles every two minutes like usual to keep him from busting into John’s office during the day. (Yes, John declined a locked door when we put french doors on his home office.)

Remember that 5th grade friend that you just loved being around 24-7? Well, Miles and I are SOOOO alike that by the third day, we were both OVER all of it. We both wanted our space and even Miles was telling me to just “Leave him alone!” (Bless my BFF who told me Miles was so advanced emotionally to be able to tell me what he needs. Oh bless her because I felt like CRAP hearing that!) By day 4, Miles and I both ended up crying for reasons we just couldn’t explain. (Well, for me, I missed my yoga class due to a scheduling mix up and I was beside myself with disappointment, but that’s another story.)

All of this came after a week where Miles had no school due to snow and I was hit with a bunch of new pregnancy symptoms that knocked me on my booty. So there were lots of things going on to make it a hard week. I have realized just how alike Miles and I are and how much John balances our relationship out.

By the 5th day, Miles and I got it figured out (two hours away from each other at preschool on Tuesday morning helped too) and we have had a great time the rest of the week. We have had some great little “deep” talks, snuggles and laughs. It was exactly what I was hoping we could do during this one on one time together.

I will say though, that tonight, as I was dragging a leaky bag of trash through the house (John’s job, usually) Miles took that moment to go grab a milk jug out of the recycling and throw it in the living room, splattering nasty milk remnants on the couch. That was a sucky moment that just about made me hop on a plane to NY to personally pick John up while I go away for a week, if not longer! (I’m sure John is somewhere smiling, realizing how I now know what a pain the trash job is.) I will add too, that our house right now is a NUT HOUSE in the last week before we wait for the studio to be finished. It has boxes upon boxes of furniture, equipment, canvases, you name it, stacked anywhere we have open wall space. So that is unnerving in itself.

Here’s our entryway into our living room. Where the photo cuts off, is our staircase and living room couch, so it’s a tight squeeze. John’s office has stuff stacked above my head and there’s even gear stored in our bedroom, garage and kitchen. The studio is going to be great. We just have to go through some un-greatness right now to get there. So all sorts of little things have been building and building up (and piling up) around here to make me just that much less patient.

I have mentioned before that I did a terrible job of living alone when I was widowed and I always thought that was because, well, I was a crazy grieving person at the time. Yea, I now realize that I stink living alone even as a regular person too. I get scared at night and watch tv until I’m too tired to keep my eyes open. I let the house plants wilt. I forget I let Whisper outside until Stamp has to bark at the door, reminding me to let her in. I eat, but not an actual meal I cook for our family. (Though I did cook a meal tonight for the both of us and this was the first night Miles decides to eat NONE of it.) I forget to fill the water dish until Stamp barks at the bathtub to remind me. (Thank God for Stamp!) The list goes on. Jeez, can you believe they even let me walk the streets? I’m a mess! I swear, I blame the pregnancy hormones. That has been my scapegoat for everything this week.

I may stink at independent living, but I CAN teach a three year old how to go to a nice Chinese restaurant and sit quietly on Valentine’s night (surrounding by couples scowling at us for being there messing up their mojo.) So I did get to go out on a little date for Valentine’s and by the grace of God, Miles, who had not napped that day, got through the whole dinner without theatrics. (Happy V-day to me!)

So yea, I’m a pack animal and I’ve been feeling out of sorts this past week. Ok, let’s face it, I’ve been an emotional basketcase. I work better as a team. I can’t wait for my John to get home so we can get back to be team players again. Hilariously enough though, I’m heading out for a girl’s weekend this Saturday with some rockin chicks, so our pack won’t be back together until next week. (I swear, I might just turn the weekend into a full week!)

So that’s what’s been going on around here. Can’t wait to go pick up daddy at the airport. Airport reunions are THE BEST PART of traveling. As a mom, I just hope that my stressed out moments and tears can slip away from the pages of our history together and we can both remember the fun we had.

I do have to say that Miles has napped VERY well and has gone to bed without a fight and stayed there every night. (Once I survived the bedtime routine!) He really has been such a good, good boy this week so I have to give him lots and lots of credit for that. So I’m pretty ashamed that I had such a hard time going it alone. I don’t even know why I’m sharing my experience with you guys, only to just bare my soul in the hopes of cleansing myself from the guilt of my imperfections as a mom. I guess if that’s the case, this won’t be my last thesis of mom transgressions, I suppose. Also, I know it helps other mom’s to share our hard times, so we don’t feel so alone.