This sweet boy who never lets me take his picture, is heading off to kindergarten tomorrow. Yes, I’m letting him go on the bus. I’ve strapped him into a five point harness for 5 years (and probably will for another 5) and now I’m going to send him down the road in a big metal tube on wheels. It feels weird, but we are doing it. Yes, I’m going to meet him at school, but only to cheer him on and see him make his way to the classroom. My eyes are brimming with tears as I imagine him actually walking down the hall, but I know growth needs to happen and most often, it hurts. When I wipe away my anxiety and heartbreak at how quickly we have gotten to this big step and see what is left in my heart, I feel how very excited I am for him. He’s going to love it, I just know it.
So tomorrow morning I give Mrs. Howard my boy. My sweet, precious, complex boy. Ok, the tears have come and I’m off to bed with a lump in my throat. Perhaps I should cry myself to sleep so I can be strong in the morning and show Miles the side of my heart that truly is so excited for his new adventure. I remember hearing early on after I had Miles that being a parent means giving your children roots AND wings. This is only the beginning of my heart starting to feel how much it hurts to give him wings.
Tonight I send all my love to Miles and all his precious little friends out there starting a new adventure tomorrow, and to their mothers, of course as well.