shrugging off the moving fog

Ok, so my intention this summer was to blog about what it’s like to move from the midwest to California. However, one thing I couldn’t forecast was how exhausted I would be during this process, that I would have zero babysitting (hello-zero personal time!) or how my computer would be in boxes for weeks. (Never mind the fact that I’m supposed to be updating my website for my graphic designer right now. cringe So much work to do!) So I’ve been expressing my emotions over Facebook and Instagram via my phone mostly. Looking back at my time in Indiana prepping for this whole experience, I knew there would be challenges, and people who had moved before would try to explain them to me, but there’s no way of knowing until you are in the middle of it.

Moving to California has been such a mixture of excitement, fear, second guesses, disbelief that this is all real and thankfulness for this adventure. We are now in our new home in Los Gatos, California. It’s ranch style home with wood floors, a cute backyard and a nice shady patio. It really is such a gem that I’m amazed we found. I”ll be posting photos of it soon. The place pretty much looks like a home with the furniture in place and some of our decor in place, but with plenty of boxes yet to unpack. Every day we are struggling to find something and figure out where we had tucked it away or which box it might be hidden in. It’s neat to see how our furniture looks in a new house. Of course, it doesn’t all work in this new space and we are still trying to figure it all out. We are still using beach towels as I haven’t found the box of bath towels but at least I have pots and pans unpacked so I can start working on cooking like a productive human being again. (SO much pizza has been eaten this month.) Though where on earth are our cutting boards? I just miraculously made a crock pot meal using a dinner plate as a cutting board and still have all my fingers. YES! I’m so excited we’ll have an actual home cooked meal in our home tonight. That’s a first in about ten days!

Things are definitely looking up around here. I’ve been shrugging off the fog that living in the temporary apartment surrounded me in. I realize now how living in a place temporarily and not building anything really bothered me. I mean, of course it was necessary, we had to land somewhere while we found our home, but as much as I say I’m a hermit, I’m also a pack animal that relies on knowing her surroundings and finding her favorite nooks in a city that feel like home. So even though we were in a gorgeous apartment complex and I had my family around me, I started to wither up a bit emotionally. Homesickness settled in and I was getting short fused and was exhausted all the time. However, the more we are in Los Gatos and the incredible charms of this town show themselves to me, I’m starting to feel lighter and definitely happier. With every new store, park, pool, library and school checked out I’m starting to feel more and more invested into our future here. With each connection made, I’m digging my feet in a bit deeper into this soil.

Kidslosgatosblog

Sometimes I would get panicky and think about everything I built in Fort Wayne and was walking away from. Our house was beautiful, our schools were excellent, our friends were amazing and I had built a business based solely on word of mouth. I kept picturing myself walking away from a sandcastle I had built and kept asking myself, “Is this ok? Is it ok to build something so beautiful and just walk away from it?” I’m still wondering, is it ok to let that castle go, let it succumb to the sea of change to be solely a memory to be reshaped elsewhere? These are questions I still ask myself as I process this all. Every time I question it, I look around and I see all the beauty, the opportunities and the adventure and I feel more secure in all this change.

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This week I’ve really felt the shift though. We venture out farther every day to explore Los Gatos and it’s so beautiful, the people are so incredibly laid back and friendly and it feels so safe here. We keep saying, “We live in California now. Can you believe it?” Then we stop what we are doing and just marvel at that. It still blows my mind. Kidsstreet

John LOVES Apple and he’s been taking the Apple shuttle most days so he doesn’t have to drive in rush house traffic. He’s doing great, but of course we are still getting used to seeing him less. It sure makes our evenings and weekends just that much more precious. Tomorrow we are going to go have breakfast with him at Apple’s Cafe Mac’s for his birthday. The kids are going to FLIP over the campus! I can’t take any photos there though, which will drive me crazy!

Kissblog

I’ve been lucky enough to have four Indiana friends come visit me already! Oh my goodness, It was AWESOME seeing familiar faces again! I was like that dog who fainted from happiness when seeing it’s owner again. So if you are Northern California, look me up. I LOVE visitors!!!

Ok, I’ve let the kids have a Garfield show marathon while I wrote this, so I must go. Speaking of Garfield, Miles is suddenly CRAZY about Garfield. Like obsessed. You can hear him laughing out loud at his comic books, which is adorable. I’ve been trolling Ebay for the perfect stuffed Garfield to surprise him with. The only bummer about Garfield is you would hope your child’s favorite character wouldn’t be so lazy and apathetic and now, thanks to Garfield “hating” Mondays, I’m trying to get the kids to stop using the word “hate.” I could have worse issues I suppose. : )

All right, I really need to go. We have library books that need returning!

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  • Sherry SmithJuly 31, 2014 - 4:50 pm

    Thank you for the beautiful pictures..without them I know I would sink beyond return into deeper depression…I am lucky you are so very talented and share it with us. I love you..MOM

  • Amy TJuly 31, 2014 - 5:38 pm

    As a native Northern Californian its so interesting to see (read) California through your eyes. I hope you continue to love it. As much as I can get down on it (its so expensive to live here!, and the traffic!) it really is so special. You have the city, the wine country, the beach, the mountains, everything at your fingertips. Los Gatos is a charming little town.

  • ChristenJuly 31, 2014 - 7:12 pm

    Oh Betsy, you have been in my thoughts (and my feeble prayers) so much. I can’t imagine the change you all are undergoing. And you are strong and lovely and all will be well and all is going to be so well…and already is so well! (references to one of my favorite mystics, Julian of Norwich). I so wish I could just drop in for a cup of coffee at Mocha Lounge with you and talk parenting and talk transitions and laugh together. Although we didn’t see one another as often as I’d like in FW, your absence is with me. At your encouragement of Miles with Garfield comics my Mom got Grayson some at the library. It has been wonderful in encouraging him to practice reading more, so thank you! We miss the four Kings.