A year from now, when I look back at this time, I will no longer be nursing Jocelyn. She’ll be two and a half by then and I’m sure will have been done for awhile. Right now, Jocelyn and I are doing that little dance of letting go and holding on. She’s so independent on so many levels, but can still be my little baby. The times I get to nurse her are slowly dwindling and they are so precious to me. It’s such a precious, golden time that I feel so blessed to share with her. People ask us all the time if we are going to have other kids and perhaps, but most likely no. So I’m in that time of my life of grieving the idea of never having a baby again and also feeling such gratitude for the ones I do have and the excitement for growing into the next stages with them. Once again, I come back to that idea of dancing between two worlds. What I find in those times when I feel torn is to just shut off all the noise and stay in the moment, just like I do when I get to cuddle with Joss and she’s still my little baby.

Also, February was the month that Miles turned five and I found myself realizing this was my last winter with him home a couple of days a week before Kindergarten starts. Those long days in our PJ’s where I try everything in my power to not leave the house at all and where crayons, markers, scissors and paper litter the kitchen table. Just as I know my time nursing Joss will soon come to an end, I know these carefree preschool days are numbered as well.

So cheers to February and the sweetness that time brought to my life.