Category: personal

We were five hours away from being parents.

If you don’t mind, I want to reminisce on what was going on a year ago.

I was feeling awful and thinking it was indigestion, I tried to sleep on the couch upstairs in the loft. I tried to watch TV, but all that was on were infomercials (always the stupid Girls Gone Wild one. UGH!) or Vh1’s I love New York. Ugh. So I shifted, tossed and turned and moaned and groaned all night long just hoping I would feel better soon. Little did I know that at 3:00 AM my water would break all over the bathroom floor and completely freak me out and take John by complete and utter surprise. Our bags weren’t packed, I didn’t get to flat iron my hair like I had wanted, (yes, I’m that vain) and we thought we had another week before our planned C-section since Miles was breach. (I had just found out 24 hours earlier that we had to ditch our awesome mid-wife, meet a new OBGYN, go to a new hospital and have a c-section because of our upside down little guy.) So instead, we were looking at an emergency c-section with a mystery doctor. Yikes, yikes and yikes! We were two freaked out parents to be but really excited all at once.

More on the rest of the story later.

Here is me a little over a year ago on January 27th, 2007. This photo was taken exactly one year before my sister passed away. I can’t believe at this point last year I would only have 365 days left with her. I think about how quickly this past year has gone by and it feels so unfair that of all the years to be her last with me, it would be one of the fastest ones that have gone by in my life.

Since I had to leave our house so quickly when I went into labor, my sister came and cleaned my house for me while I was in the hospital. (He came so early that our house wasn’t all clean and ready for baby.) She was always doing stuff like that for people without a second thought. She was so generous with her time and love. I can’t believe she is gone. I’m trying really hard to do posts that are upbeat, but I still just can’t do anything without thinking of her. Thank you for being patient with me everybody. It’s all just still so raw and I’m still just trying to allow the finality of her loss to sink in.

For my photog friends you are allowed to laugh that we took this photo at 1600 ISO even though we had somewhat decent light. However, John just reminded me that we didn’t have our prime lens back then so I’m sure we had to be at 1600 with the limitations of our lens. Man, I totally forgot there was life before our prime lenses. I would be so bored without my prime lenses! (Thank you Bobbi for expanding our horizons last year.)

BTW, I posted two posts tonight, so keep on strolling.